We are all struggling at this time, with the current anti transgender lobby trying hard to scare all the service providers out there, by creating an environment of fear through outright intimidation to making unfounded complaints about a registered health care professionals (Look up Dr Helen Webberley from Gender GP) Who after a lengthy court case against the GMC, has just been cleared of all these complaints and is now again free to practice as a doctor with no restrictions.

I travelled to India this year to see a wonderful surgeon ‘Richie Gupta’ also Dr Rashid Gupta in the Fortis hospital Shalimar Bah in Delhi, I went through an 9 hour GR operation, a 10 day stay in hospital then a further two weeks recovery before traveling home. The trip to India was necessary due to the inadequacy and lack of care in my own country, “on a side note, India has full LGBT+ equalities laws and Transgender self ID along with Pakistan, they make the UK seam very backward” and whilst in India I was treated respectfully as a woman, by all including the medical staff.

So I’m home safe and sound, still a little sore in the undercarriage department “donut cushions are wonderful things, and gabapentin with some paracetamol, great friends for the post op Trany”, I then make an appointment with my own GP service to get the above pain relief ‘no problems so far, the trany is not discriminated against when it comes to post op pain relief, I had to make another appointment to see their HRT specialist doctor,

Two weeks later I attend that appointment, I explained to a very nice doctor that I now needed female hormones as I have no gonads ( sex hormone producing organs) “ Please bear in mind that up to this point, all my transitional treatments were self funded ALL OF IT! blood testing, counselling, and medication over many years, I recon I’ve saved the NHS aprox £40’000, so now I’m asking for the same treatment as any cis gendered menopausal woman right? and require the same blood levels and testing etc, that all sounds ok so far”, dosen’t it?

she looks at me and smiles, and I already know the answer, as for many years, despite working all my life (IN Health and social care) paying in to our wonderful NHS through taxes, at so many of these consultations I’m told to F***k off, in the most polite way of course, so after the 10th or 20th time you get to know that smile, the lean back in the chair and then the limp explanation ‘we do not have the competencies to prescribe to a transgender patient’, then you get the sincere apologies ‘ of course if it was just up to me’ with the open hands and shown the door. So I was declined NHS care yet again, so in that one consultation I am told you don’t count, your not a female, and we don’t want to treat a Transgender woman, I go home, I’m upset then I break down again crying I tell myself ‘you fool, what did you expect’, the doctor she will not see this, or the internal pain and the days it takes to pull it back together and face the world again.

So I’m now without any Sex hormones ‘for many weeks at this point’, you see these hormones dont just work on sexual caricteristics, they interact with many physiological system’s helping, diet, sleep and brain functions and many more, I’m suffering the oestrogen withdrawal, not sleeping, sweating, and agitated/ anxious also noted that my skin is very dry and is itchy on back and legs. so even though the NHS guidance to GP’s is to prescribe if the Transgender patient is at risk through general health and wellbeing due to requiring hormone replacement or is likely to self medicate, My practice is ignoring this NHS guidance.

So to sum up, I was expecting and anticipating being off the hamster wheel of gender clinics at last, that I would be like any other woman accessing services treated in the same way, with the same respect and treatment afforded to me,

But no… I am still on the wheel and being treated in a discriminatory way, can you imagine a GP service refusing treatment on sex, ethnic or religious grounds, there would be an outcry the GP service would be sanctioned by the CQC or GMC at the very least, But hey I’m just a Trany, able to be abused, lied about and mistreated by the government and the NHS with impunity, so to all the health professionals out there refusing Transgender services… I call you cowards out and out cowards, who know what the damage to this group is but still follow party lines despite the appalling damage, you all hold some responsibility for the many deaths and harmed people out there AND I WILL SAY THAT TO YOUR FACE.

But as a Buddhist I also pity and send love and kindness to all the doctors who are too weak/scared to stand up to the bad practice of gender health care, you all have it in your power to change and be better human beings, look into yourselves deeply and ask are you doing all you can. Look at Dr Helen Webberly someone who stood against the storm, because she new it was the right thing to do.